Welcome to the Race

No one could have prepared me for the reality of motherhood. As I daydreamed about my future children and the life we'd have, coloring pictures, swinging at the park on sunny days, bedtime stories and butterfly kisses, I knew it would be hard, everyone says it's the most difficult and most rewarding job. But how hard, boy, no one can even know until they are entrenched in the chaos of parenting...the floor hidden in toys, the crumbs that reproduce under the kitchen table no matter how many times you sweep, the chronic sleep deprivation and the endless peanut butter sandwiches and mac n cheese! Okay so it's not all bad and yes these little darlings are the best thing that could have ever happened to me, but sometimes in the middle of a tantrum, I'm not sure whether to laugh at the situation (which I should do more often) or join in the tears (which I probably do too often). Yes there is a certain longing for your former life. You know the one that could go pee without an enterage of children asking,"What are you doing mommy?" "Can I flush?" "Yeah, mommy you went pee pee like a big girl!" But here you are, a mother and on the good days, they truly are the best days of your life and you can't imagine being anywhere better!

Yes I was a perfect parent before I had kids. My kids would eat only the healthiest of foods and watch no TV. They'd have perfect manners, never bight, hit or take toys away from the other kids. They would never be the child in the store screaming and crying for a toy or heaven forbid they'd ever be the screamer on an airplane! I mean how could you let your child do such things?

Well we've all seen one too many peanut butter sandwiches. Some days my oldest eats not only a PB sandwich for breakfast (is it really any different than toast?) but another for lunch and maybe a third for a snack before dinner (hmm? could that be why he's not hungry for dinner?). And how much cheese should one have in a day? Mac n cheese for lunch, grilled cheese for dinner and a few cheese sticks in between. Can man live on cheese and peanut butter alone? So far my protein filled child seems to be developing quite well. So he doesn't get a food pyramid of nutritious food everyday, right now with a 2 1/2 yr old and 8 month old, everyday is about survival, right?

And yes my son has hit, bitten and stolen a toy at playgroup. I've even stood in line at the store and heard the ladies the next line over say to the cleark "We've all been there." I'm not sure if she meant for me to hear or not, but inside I cringed and as I left the store realized that I was "that" mom with "that" kid. Your kid will be too. A dear friend's grandmother said, "If it's not your child today, it will be yours tomorrow." So true! Be careful not to judge the mother next you as you may soon find yourself on the other side of the of the glass wall.

26.2 miles and Counting

For a while now I've been composing little "articles" in my head about motherhood, it's joys and well let's be honest, it's not so joys! Talking among my other mommy friends, it sounds like we are all in the same kind of boat, going through the same ups and downs but for some reason, we as moms feel we must put on our happy face and pretend that being a mom is the best thing that has happened to us since the show "Friends." Well the truth be told, motherhood is a challenge. I liken it to a marathon. Being a runner in my former, prebaby life, a marathon is the ultimate race. It's something you spend months training for (ie: pregnancy), but never actually complete until race day. Sure there are lots of manuals, books, and friends to ask advice about training, nutrition, gear, etc, but until you're feet are hitting the pavement you really don't know what you're in for. None of the articles, books or advice received can ever prepare you for the unexpected turns in the race course. You could pull a muscle that sidelines you for the rest of the race or in the least develop an annoying blister along the way. All this being said, motherhood is like a marathon...the longest darn marathon of your life. It takes practice, support, strength (inner, mental, physical), patience, the right gear and most of all determination to see it through to the end.

Please join me on my marathon of motherhood. I hope to be chronically lots of joyous moments but also sharing some truth about what we mothers truly go through. You are not alone in it. You may be sitting on the sofa now wondering if you're the only mom in the world that cries over the guilt she feels that she's not doing this mothering thing wrong...you're not alone. I guarantee even the most seemingly perfect mother has cried herself to sleep wondering if her kids will turn out okay or forever be scarred because she served yet another pb&j for lunch or forgot to brush her kids teeth before he went to bed.

A little about me: I'm the mother of 2 beautiful boys ages 2 1/2 and 6 months. Yes we planned it this way hoping to have two kids that were also emotionally close and could keep each other company. I've been married to my high school sweetheart (who I met in preschool) for 10 years. I'm a college graduate with a BA in History and Family & Consumer Sciences (the fancy new name for home economics). I was certified to teach grades 5-12. This in no way makes me a qualified advisor for child rearing or writing for that matter. So take all that you read with a grain of salt as I'm just doing my best as I know you are too! Thanks for reading and happy motherhood to you all! Woo hoo, let's get running!